in his dark night of the soul
St. John walked with his eyes closed
"it's the only way to truly know
we can trust the way that our feet go"
you never tried to walk that way
instead, suspecting the barricade
I never understood why you were cold
something when you were a kid I'm told
you were empty in your father's eyes,
the only thing from himself he despised
and on the wrong side of your firmament,
when you looked at me you saw him
do I remind you of all the hurt?
do I remind you of feeling unheard?
do I remind you of feeling uncertain?
do I remind you of feeling worthless
your friendship's like a trojan horse
deceitful in size of force
I thought you were somebody safe
who knew the things you'd try to take
somewhere on Dakota plains
you told the love of my life that we should wait
"do you love him or love itself
and if you trust him do you love yourself?"
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